"Bad" habits unscrambled

Do you have a habit you want to get rid of? Here is one I meet all the time. It doesn't matter, if this isn't what bothers you. My message will sort out any "bad" habit.

And you can forget about will power

Legions of people come into my room determined to stop their hands moving. They kill off any life their hands may be itching to show - and they end up dead all over. Completely wooden in their manner.

The body hates a negative. It hates being told not to do something and goes into a major sulk: "OK, you don't want genuine input from me? Then you're not going to get any at all."

So the surprising message is:

• PRACTICE YOUR BAD HABITS.

Get to know them better. Don't try to force yourself to change. A habit is wired into your nervous system and being habitual the nervous system will be operating on automatic.

If you learn to do, consciously and deliberately, whatever you tend to do unconsciously and without awareness, you regain control over your actions. You get rid of the automatic nature of your behaviour.

The movement itself is not a distraction

An interviewer will not be distracted by the movement alone. What really distracts him or her is movement that you make, of which you are unaware. It's as though your hands are calling for attention. If you won't give them any, then someone else must.

Hands that seem too vigorous? The answer

Take ten minutes out to play. Imagine you're in an interview and let the urge in your hands dictate what they do. Allow them to move as they want. Find out exactly what they want to do.

And if you allowed them to move as much as they would like, what then? What is trying to happen by this action? What would happen if you didn't stop it? Respect the tendency of your hands to want a life.

Pay attention to the moment when the urge first appears. Can you sense the urge, right at its beginning, the essence of the movement? How does it start?

Very quickly you will discover that you have much more active control over what your hands do. You can use them to emphasise points more effectively. You can show the power of stillness, the power of your ability to focus on a topic, alert, relaxed and without wasted energy or distraction. The stillness of your hands is now positive.